To the mother who feels like a failure,
I’ve been where you are in. In fact, I’m there right now. You have dishes overflowing from the sink. The laundry is so far behind that you don’t know where to begin. Your baby is fussy and you can’t get them to settle. Something has happened to your child that you feel is 100% your fault. You don’t have any energy left at the end of the day to give to your spouse. Essentially, you’ve hit your breaking point. You’re probably here reading this with a tear soaked face hoping you aren’t alone.
If everything you just read is true, then you’ve come to the right place. You aren’t alone. The truth is, every mom feels like a failure at one point or another. Moms are only humans just like everyone else. We don’t magically get superpowers the moment our children are born. So, we are bound to make a few mistakes from time to time. We sometimes forget to reapply sunscreen and our kids get a little sunburned. Other times we might forget the bottles of formula on a road trip and have to make a pit stop at Walmart. We even run behind on laundry and struggle to find clothing that hasn’t been spit up on.
The hardest mistakes to forgive ourselves for aren’t always the physical mistakes, but the emotional mistakes. Those are the mistakes that hit close to the heart. Sometimes we give too much time and energy to activities outside of our family and we feel guilty. There might be days where the stress gets the best of us and we snap at our kids. We don’t ever mean to, but it happens. Somedays life gets the best of us and we aren’t able to be the perfect mothers we feel our kids deserve.
These days often leave us feeling like we’ve failed our children. We feel like maybe they would be better with a mother who was more patient, who was more organized, and who had more time. However, it is so important to not let these mistakes define who we are as parents. God selected you to be your baby’s mother because he knew there wouldn’t be a better person on the planet for them than you. He knew all the mistakes you were going to make before they happened, but he still chose you. So, I think it’s time that we believe in ourselves as much as God believes in us.
Remember, you are the perfect mother for your child. You may make mistakes and fall down, but you always pull yourself up again. There isn’t a user manual on how to take care of children. There isn’t any on the job training. You just have to jump in and learn as you go. You’re going to make many, many, many mistakes during the 18 years you have your kids at home. Don’t let those mistakes define you. Shake off all of the judgement you receive from not only yourself, but from outsiders as well. You may not be perfect, but you are everything to your kids. Tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start over. So, wipe those tears mama. You aren’t a failure. You aren’t a bad parent. You’re a wonderful, capable mother. You can do this.